Thursday, February 28, 2008

"No one came forward"

That one statement has cut me to the core. Broken my heart in such a way that 4 days later I still can't get it out of my mind............
On monday Daniel picked up a copy of all Zane's paperwork that goes with our I600 application, this is what we send into the USE in order to get him a visa to come home on. We are praising the Lord for being at this step but are praying that the USE speeds up their process because lately they have been taking 60+ days to approve.
This use to take just a few days when you could apply for the visa in country as we did in Guatemala for Chloe, but they have changed it for Vietnam as of November and it is taking our own US Government over 2 months to approve. Meaning 2 more months that our children are in orphanages when they could be home.
We got a copy of his birth certificate, abandonment decree, Dr.'s report, nurses report, newspaper article where his abandonment announcement was ran in all the local papers,etc. As I began reading all this paperwork the tears began to flow. I guess I never realized the magnitude of emotions I would feel regarding "my abandoned child". When Chloe was born and we accepted her referral we got 6 or 7 pictures of her and her birth mother when she was being relinquished at 1 day old. I have precious pictures of her with her birth mother that some day when she is alot older I can show her if she asks questions and expects me her "Mommy" to give her answers. I will continue to tell her that "her birth mother was unable to care for her and wanted a better life for her so her Mammy (foster mother) took care of her until we could come to get her and bring her home.
But what do I tell Zane if he asks to see his paperwork? Surely I don't show him the nurses report that states, "baby boy less than 3 days old found, outside the --hospital, wrapped in a white towel, has black hair, dark skin, small eyes, infected navel, and very weak". Surely I don't show him the abandonment announcement that was ran in all the local newspapers for over 30 days, and surely I don't show him the report that says "at the end of 30 days NO RELATIVE NOR DOMESTIC CAME FORWARD WANTING THE BABY BOY NOW KNOWN AS------------!
When I read that one statement my heart hurt in such a way I almost couldn't breathe.
Not one person came forward wanting this precious gift from God.
Like Daniel said, if they had we wouldn't have him now and I completely understand that. I know that God chose us to be Zane's parents and I am eternally grateful for that, but it still hurts. I hurt for him! I hurt for his birth mother that felt so much desperation that she felt she had to leave him outside a hospital. So thankful that she did instead of some field where he would have probably died. I wonder if she went back by that same hospital to see if the baby boy that she gave birth to had been found. So many emotions. Torn between being sad because of his circumstances and being happy because he is now ours.
Once we get our miracle baby home, HE WILL NEVER BE ABANDONED AGAIN!
Please continue to pray him home!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

wvamom said...

Teresa,
What a moving post! I remember feeling that way with Joseph--he seemed so little and vulnerable, and to think he was without a family as well just broke my heart. And that wasn't even an abandonment case.

Of course, now it's hard to even think that way--he is our family!!

Thanks for letting me know you posted. I really enjoy reading your posts!
Carolyn

Anonymous said...

That is such a beautiful post. My eyes welled up with tears reading your emotions...I can only imagine. All part of God's glorious plan, but painful still yet. (((BIG HUGS)))

One Busy Momma said...

I am glad you now have your paperwork for the visa. I hope they are able to process it in a timely manner.

As for how to answer his questions, I know that you will know the right words when the questions come to you. You will know what he needs right then.
Thanks for writing about a tough subject... while adoption for us parents is about love and joy... it truly is about many losses for our kids. It's how we help our children navigate through these losses that will make the differences.
*hugs* to you!
Denise

Katie said...

I totally understand you !! I feel the same way when I read the add for Arianna and Brayden that was posted in the Guat newspaper.... its HARD !!! Hugs